实习医生格蕾 第五季

Warning：这篇文章涉及《实习医生格雷》1～100集的剧透，对于S5 finale只字未提，对于Finale我的建议是等到9月S6出来的时候再看，当然前提是在接下来的四个月中你能躲过其他剧透的话。

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They're never as big as you make them out to be in your head. It's the regular days, the ones that start out normal. Those are the days that end up being the biggest.

我们无法预期，辉煌之日何时将至。你觉得最重要的日子总不如你在脑海中描绘得那般盛大。它同平时一样开始得一如往常，结束时，才彰显盛大。

                                                                     ——《Grey's anatomy》ep100(中文摘自伊甸园字幕)

当2005年Alex Karev还是那个专说刻薄脏话、乱睡护士传播性病、将Izzie的内衣广告贴在电梯门上的jerk时，Izzie Stevens将自己的上衣狠狠地甩在了他的脸上。那时候我敏锐地领悟，除了那对因一夜情开始的医生外，这部叫做Grey‘s anatomy的戏应该还有更精彩的看点。

我不在乎Derek会在Addison和Meredith之中选择哪个；我不在乎Meredith是否能死而复活又有怎样的心理阴影；我不在乎George为什么爱完Meredith又爱上Izzie；不在乎Callie离婚后变成拉拉不断变幻女友；甚至不在乎Cristina被Burker莫名抛弃后爱上了现在的这位兽医，但我还在看这部戏，因为我想知道有一天Izzie会不会爱回Alex。

我是那种很死心眼的观众，在故事开始的时候挑一个故事线跟住，不到完结的时候绝不放弃。所以Denny死时我不难过，我难过的是Alex将穿着粉红色的裙子的Izzie从病床上抱下来后，她脸上还是死灰一样的绝望。Shonta Rhimes似乎只想说明一件事：他救不了她。至少那时不行。

我已经不记得后来第三季第四季说了些什么了，Addison是几时走的，Burke是几时走的，George几时结的婚又几时离的婚，Meredith的心理医生几时扭转了她的乾坤，Alex几时爱上了Addison又几时爱上了无名氏？那些情节总是轻易地被新一集的格雷洗去，没有时间回忆，只是跟着他们继续，生活。

然后，在2008年的五月，Alex没有任何先兆地哭倒在Izzie的怀里，泣不成声地重复“please,please…”，同一时刻Meredith用蜡烛围出了她和Derek的屋子，似乎大罢工给了急速前进的Shonta Rhimes一个思考过去的机会，一切回到了最初的起点。

从前，有这样一位公主，她出身在平民窟，她未成年生子，她做模特付医学院的学费，她擅长烹饪从Cookie到火鸡的各种食物，她可以一个人组织一场婚礼，她乐观开朗感情用事，全心全意地生活在自己的童话里，她爱上了她垂死的病人，她爱上了她已婚的朋友，却都惨烈地收场，直到她回头，看到那个自垃圾堆里长大的王子，一直，永远站在她身旁。

当Alex把Izzie从Denny的病床上抱下来地时候，当他们玩着用“Izzie think”“Alex think”代替“I”说话的时候，当Izzie领悟到Alex那句“我还可以再跟别人睡吗？”要表达的其实是“我们别再跟别人睡”时，我偷偷地奢望会不会有那么一天，他们穿着礼服白纱，走过红毯，走向神坛，芸芸众生仰望着他们，听着同样被坎坷造就的积极公主和消极王子对着彼此说出那句‘I do’，然后从此幸福快乐地生活在一起。

我从没想过这一天会真的出现，直到Grey's anatomy 100集的时候。

我们还是执着于童话故事。

周六的早晨，睡到自然醒却还是只到八点半，吃过早饭，于是打开昨晚下完的GA S05 Finale。

Here's to the Future [5.23]
Meredith (opening voiceover): When something begins, you generally have no idea how it’s going to end. The house you’re going to sell becomes your home, the roommates you were forced to take in become your family and the one night stand you were determined to forget becomes the love of your life.

Meredith (closing voiceover): We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future, as if figuring it out will cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and wildest hopes. But one thing is certain when it finally reveals itself. The future is never the way we imagined it.

Now or Never [5.24]
Meredith (opening voiceover): Doctors spend a lot of time focused on the future, planning it, working toward it. But at some point you start to realise your life is happening now. Not after med school, not after residency, right now. This is it. It’s here. Blink and you’ll miss it.

Meredith (closing voiceover): Did you say it? 'I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life.' Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around; Drink it in 'cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow."
以上是这两集的开场白和结束语。

其实，从看第五季开始，已经很久没有为了GA掉泪了，记得曾经刚开始看的时候，几乎是集集感动到一把鼻涕一把泪。从2007年的寒假开始，追这部剧已经有两年多了，这期间找到感动，找到安慰，找到共鸣，找到一些生活的答案。原来你已经陪我走了这么远。

由于Burke的中途离开，让剧集开始受到第一轮打击，之后演员进进出出，不断的加入新面孔又不断的被否定掉，只是还好还好，那最初的MAGIC五人组还在，Meredith，Alex，George，Izzie，Christina，从他们刚刚踏入SGH那一刻起，一直到现在，从实习医生，到住院医生，这一路走来，发生了太多太多，一起经历了太多太多，而屏幕这边的我们，也跟着他们一起成长。一度很感激编剧大妈写出这么漂亮的剧本，让我找到一部可以付出感情去看的剧集，不管是幽默也好，感动也罢，甚至是Mere那Dark&Twist的黑暗内心，它们都是那么多真实流畅，带给我们欢笑与泪水都是那么的自然而然，没有任何做作的成分。

我们是真的爱这个剧集，爱里面的每一个演员，不管是Dark&Twist的Mere，还是曾经的“混世魔王”Alex，还是老实却带点傻气的George，抑或是热情善良却总是会感情用事的Izzie，甚至是有些自私极具竞争力却只敢对睡梦中的Burke表白的Christina，以及刀子嘴豆腐心的Baily，永远都有漂亮发型的McDreamy，拥有超Hot身材的Mark Salon，劳心劳力却也老谋深算的Chief，敢爱敢恨的Callie，还有温情宽容的Burke，以及被情所困远走迈阿密的Addison……

在这部剧集里，有太多的回忆。它陪伴我走过了大学的两年时光。我们就如同SGH里的MAGIC一样，面对成长的困惑，面对压力，面对琐碎小事和矛盾，面对选择，面对学业中的诸多难题。那时的我们，每天从食堂里买了饭，拎到宿舍，然后打开各自电脑，看各自追的电视剧，有时会抱着笔记本到床上看完了睡个午觉，而那样的日子，已经再也碰不到了。

而这两集Season Fianle，我并没有想到会是这样的结局。我也能理解，这是因为TR Knight和Katherine Higle两个演员跟剧组之间的问题，但是如果再为了这些合约或者不合的问题开走重要演员，我的心真的要碎了。



我本以为会是皆大欢喜的一集，因为Mere和Derek总算是结了婚，虽然只是便签纸上的誓词，但却温情感人。我以为Izzie终于成功的挺过了手术也恢复了记忆，可以跟Alex开始幸福的生活，可谁会知道几句话之后便是她垂下的手臂。我以为大妈安排George去伊拉克参军就是给他的最好结局，如果他不能继续参演，至少他是战场上的Hero，只是谁又会想到那个血肉模糊的无名氏会是George，难道真的要让他死去才是最好的结局吗？

当Izzie穿着礼服，George穿着军装，站在电梯内外对视彼此的时候，所有的一切就好像回到了第一季大家刚刚相识一般，无数镜头在脑海中一闪而过，不，不要有人以死亡的方式离开，这是所有fans都不想看到的结果，不管是Izzie还是George，不要有任何一个人死去，尽管我知道这是自我安慰而已，当画面泛白，一切静默，Mere的最后一句It might all be gone tomorrow，一切可能都会在明天灰飞烟灭，我和所有人一样，泪流满面的傻在了屏幕前。

我知道这是剧情需要，因为合约问题，所以这样的开放式结局，下一季演员的去留就可以有合理解释，演员走角色死，演员留角色活，可是，我们怎么办？五个人，少了两个，或者少了一个，他们就不再是MAGIC了，不是么？

心里从没像这次这么难受过，一切答案只能等到9月份的S06开播，还有四个月时间，这是何等纠结的等待。

我知道，人来了人又走了，天下没有不散的筵席，就如同当年离开的Burke，只是，我还是衷心希望，不要再这样，不然，我们会追的很辛苦很绝望，因为不舍，所以不能放弃，可是，少了G&I的GA，还是当初我们钟爱的GA吗？

第五季又变得那么好看了. 最喜欢13集, 死刑犯的那集.

结尾, mere走出来看到derek站在那儿, 那么地有风度, 似乎等了很久. 他不会同情死刑犯,但是他可以理解mere真正不能承受的地方在哪里.

所以虽然死刑犯的死看似很绝望,但我只要看到derek 站在那等mere, 就突然有种世界被打开了的感觉. 感到前所未有的温暖与宽阔.

It feels so good to stay at home all day watching the shows you like. I can't complain about anything right now. 'Cause I actually feel really good, even my toughest anxiety becomes forgettable. I've finally got the chance to finish GA Season 5 today, and after that something drove me so hard to recollect the show from the very beginning as well as recollect the pieces of my life.
　　
　　When I first started watching GA, I've never thought it would mean this big for me. Some shows just not only the entertainment of our life, they're like friends who knew you at the first place and still they're always there giving you a shoulder to cry on. They carry our memories, histories and feelings. GA is the one for me. Maybe it's not the greatest show ever, but for me it's significant. I've been growing with it. I've been growing as every character does. I've been growing with a heart dark and twisty.
　　
　　It is true that when something begins, you generally have no idea how it's gonna end. The future is never what we've imagined.
　　
　　Back from the beginning, Meredith was asking her good looking one-night-standed partner with amazingly attractive hair to leave with a corny embarrassment revealed on her smiling face; Christina was confidently asking about being "selected as the best intern" and whining about Izz's former part time job as a model; George had never gave up being nice or getting close to the others, but he was taken as a joke; Izz was told to do the rectal examination and can't help making her face when she stuck her fingers into the ass of a patient; Doc. Baily was wearing her mushroom head which is subject to very popular criticism even today; Here comes Burke, the perfect guy who resolutely left his fiancée in the wedding ceremony and us in the middle of the show...
　　
　　We can't tell who's the best at the beginning. Meredith lost in the hospital; George panicked in the surgery room being watching and betted on by the other interns, and he got a creepy name "007"; Izz got Baily pissed off by interrupting her nap for a patient who needs antibiotics rather than the reason that someone was dying; Alex was just an arrogant rude jerk.... And I've been there before, panic, complain, lose, freak out, be silly, cocky, selfish and inconsiderate... or even worse. I can't tell whether I can handle my life rightly and bravely at that time neither.
　　
　　None of them have imagined they would become family of each other; None of them have predicted those pains, struggles, changes or those life and death things injected in their life; None of them have realized and expected those massive magnificent changes happening everyday around them; None of them have ever thought they would become this strong to handle the pain, the loss and departure. Just as what Izz said at the last "you don't recognize the biggest day of your life, not until you're right in the middle of it." We don't recognize anything until we're actually experiencing the most of it. Their life keeps growing deep. So does mine. And I'm growing deep too. I don't run away like before, I face things, I stand up on my own, and I handle them. GA is showing and witnessing the histories and changes of my life too.
　　
　　In GA, hospital is a battlefield, and doctors are soldiers. They don't surrender, because they can't. They've been working their ass off for saving lives, or not that great, just for avoiding mistakes and killing. But what they're doing is sacred. All of the stories going on in this show carry only one clue ---- take the time to treasure. I'm gonna quote the last voice-over in the end of Season 5, and I'm gonna ask myself and everyone else who reads this article:
　　
　　Did you say it? "I love you. I don't ever wanna live without you. You changed my life..." Did you say it? Make a plan, set a goal, work toward it, but every now and then, look around, drink it in. 'Cause this is it. It might be gone tomorrow.


【拼写错误已修正，见谅】

从大一到大五。
从第一季到第五季
以前一直觉得老友记是个奇迹。
十年是个奇迹。
现在发现，时间不是个奇迹。
岁月如梭才是个奇迹。
好在，我们都一直在成长。
喜悦，悲伤，苦难，尴尬，疲惫，犹豫，愤怒，无奈，这一切都让我更加感激上天赐予的生命。
谁说只有快乐的人生才值得度过？

                            --------2010-4-25

Alex在手术室里拿着心脏除颤器准备电击，倒计时的3s终于证明他的诊断是对的，他却全身发抖僵化到完全不能行走，那个镜头真心全季最戳泪点~哪怕生活把你的勇气压得粉碎，有那么一刻你孤注一掷，你不被信任、被否决、为权威所抛弃，但你还是要坚强，战胜内心你最为恐惧的自我的反对声，告诉自己，要坚持。因为当你再也不用恐惧内心的自我反对，那份被自我所证明过的喜悦，才最显弥足珍贵。